Have a look at the article I wrote for Feb 2012 Disability Now magazine about young campaigners, as mentioned in my previous post.
They are a fabulous bunch of young disabled people:
http://www.disabilitynow.org.uk/living/features/meet-the-future-young-campaigners-on-show/
If you get the chance the article looks even better in the printed version....
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Thursday, January 26, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
New Year New Motivation
I love the beginning of the year as I'm all motivated. In fact I've been so busy my New Years Resolution of making sure I write one blog entry a month [surely I can do that?] nearly fell by the wayside...
Already this year I've written a great article about young disabled campaigners for Disability Now, it great because it features some fab young people who have already done a huge amount to try and improve the lot of disabled people, the youngest started campaigning at 10 years old. How's that for inspiration.
The only shame of the article is that it won't reach a wider audience as it's the sort of thing I'd love to see the Guardian going for, showing the wider public how positive and brilliant young disabled people can be. They are as far from loitering around street corners, moaning, scrounging benefits [as the Daily Mail would have you believe] as you can get.
I've also been doing a massive clear out, there's not a drawer, cupboard or box in my house that I don't know the contents of now. What I love about doing this is not just the recycling and decluttering element but finding things I'd forgotten I had. The whole process has made me feel very positive and sorted in more ways than one.
This feeling also ties in with the fact that I have after over 7 years of primarily looking after children embarked on a course, just for me! It's a Certificate In Counselling course, the idea is to see whether I like studying again and if I like the subject of counselling, then if I do I could potentially take it further.
Even after just a few weeks of the course I'm really enjoying doing something new, and that together with reading a book about being more assertive could possibly mean I end up a whole new woman by the end of 2012, watch this space.
Already this year I've written a great article about young disabled campaigners for Disability Now, it great because it features some fab young people who have already done a huge amount to try and improve the lot of disabled people, the youngest started campaigning at 10 years old. How's that for inspiration.
The only shame of the article is that it won't reach a wider audience as it's the sort of thing I'd love to see the Guardian going for, showing the wider public how positive and brilliant young disabled people can be. They are as far from loitering around street corners, moaning, scrounging benefits [as the Daily Mail would have you believe] as you can get.
I've also been doing a massive clear out, there's not a drawer, cupboard or box in my house that I don't know the contents of now. What I love about doing this is not just the recycling and decluttering element but finding things I'd forgotten I had. The whole process has made me feel very positive and sorted in more ways than one.
This feeling also ties in with the fact that I have after over 7 years of primarily looking after children embarked on a course, just for me! It's a Certificate In Counselling course, the idea is to see whether I like studying again and if I like the subject of counselling, then if I do I could potentially take it further.
Even after just a few weeks of the course I'm really enjoying doing something new, and that together with reading a book about being more assertive could possibly mean I end up a whole new woman by the end of 2012, watch this space.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Raising children fairly/equally
I was momentarily put out recently when a relative suggested that I didn't treat my children equally - one is disabled, the other is non-disabled.
Fortunately I am confident enough to know that in fact I spend a lot of time and energy making sure that I do indeed treat them as fairly and equally as I can, being more than aware that it might be possible to favour one over the other.
It really brought it home how wrong an 'outsider's' [even if they are a relative] perspective can be when it comes to understanding what a hugely difficult job bringing up a disabled child is.
Here are some of the issues we have to deal with [most on a daily basis]:
- finding a balance when it comes to dealing with 'normal' behaviours eg rough and tumble play. Whilst we don't want to deprive either child of this there has to be a line when one child [most likely the disabled one] is more likely to get hurt.
- dealing with the psychological effects of having a disability eg the child might be upset that they can't keep up with their peers, they might feel left out in the playground, they might feel angry with themselves for not being able to do something or for falling over.
- dealing with the psychological effects of being the 'non-disabled' one eg resentment that we're not doing something because of the disabled sibling.
- grappling with the effects of an imbalance in height, strength, mobility and ability between the two children.
I once read the term 'juggling with chainsaws', sometimes it feels like that's exactly what I am doing, and I worry that getting it wrong could potentially have long term effects on both children's wellbeing, attitudes and personality. That responsibility is stressful to say the least.
Because it's such a difficult job I have an enormous amount of respect for fellow parents up and down the country who, unseen and unpraised, are doing this job on a daily basis only they know what it's really like.
Fortunately I am confident enough to know that in fact I spend a lot of time and energy making sure that I do indeed treat them as fairly and equally as I can, being more than aware that it might be possible to favour one over the other.
It really brought it home how wrong an 'outsider's' [even if they are a relative] perspective can be when it comes to understanding what a hugely difficult job bringing up a disabled child is.
Here are some of the issues we have to deal with [most on a daily basis]:
- finding a balance when it comes to dealing with 'normal' behaviours eg rough and tumble play. Whilst we don't want to deprive either child of this there has to be a line when one child [most likely the disabled one] is more likely to get hurt.
- dealing with the psychological effects of having a disability eg the child might be upset that they can't keep up with their peers, they might feel left out in the playground, they might feel angry with themselves for not being able to do something or for falling over.
- dealing with the psychological effects of being the 'non-disabled' one eg resentment that we're not doing something because of the disabled sibling.
- grappling with the effects of an imbalance in height, strength, mobility and ability between the two children.
I once read the term 'juggling with chainsaws', sometimes it feels like that's exactly what I am doing, and I worry that getting it wrong could potentially have long term effects on both children's wellbeing, attitudes and personality. That responsibility is stressful to say the least.
Because it's such a difficult job I have an enormous amount of respect for fellow parents up and down the country who, unseen and unpraised, are doing this job on a daily basis only they know what it's really like.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Disability hate crime
I was sent my monthly e mail from Mencap [a charity supporting people with learning difficulties] which highlighted the fact that this week is Learning Disability Week.
As part of the week Mencap is launching its 'Stand By Me' campaign to stop disability hate crime.
Yes in this modern world we still have people who will pick on, harass and even murder people based on their perceived ability. That fact is nothing short of shocking really and what it has to come down to is ignorance.
For starters children don't get taught about disability much in schools. Then cildren and adults often don't have a lot of contact with people with learning difficulties [or disabled people generally for that matter].
This lack of education and contact turns into prejudice, which is when unfavourable opinions or thoughts are formed without knowledge, thought or reason...
Until children and adults are really educated about disability this will be a never ending problem.
To find out more about Learning Disability Week:
www.mencap.org.uk/news/article/it-s-learning-disability-week
As part of the week Mencap is launching its 'Stand By Me' campaign to stop disability hate crime.
Yes in this modern world we still have people who will pick on, harass and even murder people based on their perceived ability. That fact is nothing short of shocking really and what it has to come down to is ignorance.
For starters children don't get taught about disability much in schools. Then cildren and adults often don't have a lot of contact with people with learning difficulties [or disabled people generally for that matter].
This lack of education and contact turns into prejudice, which is when unfavourable opinions or thoughts are formed without knowledge, thought or reason...
Until children and adults are really educated about disability this will be a never ending problem.
To find out more about Learning Disability Week:
www.mencap.org.uk/news/article/it-s-learning-disability-week
Thursday, May 19, 2011
The Disability Balance... guilt, cold swimming pools and school PE
Dealing with disability is such a precarious thing sometimes.
Although I try my damnest to treat Archie [who has Kniest] and Ben [who doesn't] fairly I'm probably a bit more lenient with Archie. For example I'll ask Ben to put his clothes away and tidy his room but often I'll do both these things for Archie. I guess I'm just trying to make his more difficult life a bit easier? Perhaps it's a guilt thing.
Guilt does indeed rear its head every now and then. Take tomorrow - it's the annual opening of the [outdoor] swimming pool at Archie's school. At bedtime Archie said he didn't want to go to school tomorrow, which is most unlike him, he LOVES school.
When I asked why, it was because he didn't want to go in the pool because it was too cold. Ben chipped in and said if you move around enough it won't be cold [the sort of thing I'd say when they are in a pool...] but Archie said it doesn't make any difference and I believe him. I always remember being freezing in swimming pools when I was young, however much I swam I would still turn blue.
The thing is do I just hold up the disability card or not? It's not great for him just to be a spectator but if he can't do it then is it cruel to push it? What I do know is that the last thing I want is for Archie to dread school for such a reason.
I think another problem is that most of his classmates are probably swimming without armbands and the like now, and that will set him apart. Although Archie is having individual, weekly lessons he is a long way off being able to swim because he lacks the sheer strength to be able to do it.
Whilst in the old days it was easier to just play the disability card and sit on the sidelines, nowadays PE/Swimming is part of the national curriculum and they get graded in it, so of course Archie is currently graded a 'below average' D, well I never.
This may change as someone is in the process of redefining Archie's PE curriculum but generally I think it's a bit of a farce. Of course it's great for kids to do PE, get a bit of exercise etc but what's the point of marking them on it? Anyone know?
Although I try my damnest to treat Archie [who has Kniest] and Ben [who doesn't] fairly I'm probably a bit more lenient with Archie. For example I'll ask Ben to put his clothes away and tidy his room but often I'll do both these things for Archie. I guess I'm just trying to make his more difficult life a bit easier? Perhaps it's a guilt thing.
Guilt does indeed rear its head every now and then. Take tomorrow - it's the annual opening of the [outdoor] swimming pool at Archie's school. At bedtime Archie said he didn't want to go to school tomorrow, which is most unlike him, he LOVES school.
When I asked why, it was because he didn't want to go in the pool because it was too cold. Ben chipped in and said if you move around enough it won't be cold [the sort of thing I'd say when they are in a pool...] but Archie said it doesn't make any difference and I believe him. I always remember being freezing in swimming pools when I was young, however much I swam I would still turn blue.
The thing is do I just hold up the disability card or not? It's not great for him just to be a spectator but if he can't do it then is it cruel to push it? What I do know is that the last thing I want is for Archie to dread school for such a reason.
I think another problem is that most of his classmates are probably swimming without armbands and the like now, and that will set him apart. Although Archie is having individual, weekly lessons he is a long way off being able to swim because he lacks the sheer strength to be able to do it.
Whilst in the old days it was easier to just play the disability card and sit on the sidelines, nowadays PE/Swimming is part of the national curriculum and they get graded in it, so of course Archie is currently graded a 'below average' D, well I never.
This may change as someone is in the process of redefining Archie's PE curriculum but generally I think it's a bit of a farce. Of course it's great for kids to do PE, get a bit of exercise etc but what's the point of marking them on it? Anyone know?
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