There are a lot of attributes we'd like our children to have but when you have a disabled child I think one quality you hope for is for them to have confidence.
Having just moved house again Archie has had to start at another new preschool. But thanks to having been at a superb preschool in Devon which built his confidence levels up no end he has just taken it right in his stride.
He wasn't at all fazed about being left with people he'd never met before in a new setting and actually complained about having to go home on the first day, and I don't think he hates being at home!
The great thing about being where we are now is that Ben is also able to go to preschool for three sessions/week even though he isn't quite 2 and 1/2 yet.
When I left them for that first session together I felt really happy because they were both happy to be left - that made me feel like I'd done something right - I'd managed to produce two children who had enough confidence to do their own thing and who had complete trust in me ie that I was going to come back for them as I told them I would. There wasn't a tear in sight - a far cry from the image I had had of leaving my children at a school for the first time I have to say!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
Growing pains
Archie, my short statured son, is on a bit of a munchathon at the moment - I'm not sure whether it's a growth spurt or whether he has decided if he eats more that he'll grow more - an idea that might have been installed from reading the book 'Marvin Wanted More', about a sheep that wanted to be bigger so he ate and ate and ate. [In fact Marvin wasn't happy being gigantic but I think Archie has ignored the moral of the tale at this point]
He talks a lot about being bigger and about how other children are bigger than him. He also asks questions like "when do we stop growing?", "if I don't eat or drink anything I won't grow will I?"
Whilst I want to encourage him to eat I don't want to lie to him and say, if you eat all this you'll be 6ft tall when you are older. It would just be a lie. I guess the thing is to make sure he enjoys eating and doesn't worry too much about the outcome. But it feels inevitable that he's going to notice more and more that he's smaller than his peers - something I just can't remember feeling when I was young at all... maybe I was just a bit thick!
He talks a lot about being bigger and about how other children are bigger than him. He also asks questions like "when do we stop growing?", "if I don't eat or drink anything I won't grow will I?"
Whilst I want to encourage him to eat I don't want to lie to him and say, if you eat all this you'll be 6ft tall when you are older. It would just be a lie. I guess the thing is to make sure he enjoys eating and doesn't worry too much about the outcome. But it feels inevitable that he's going to notice more and more that he's smaller than his peers - something I just can't remember feeling when I was young at all... maybe I was just a bit thick!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Appreciating my mobility
Three weeks ago I was pretty much karate kicked in the knee by my beloved 2 year old who was in a strop.
I didn't think that much of it until I could't walk. Even 6 days later I still couldn't walk. I went to A&E who were fascinated by the fact I'd had a baby - er hello I've hurt my knee....
They thought I'd cracked the tibia but a visit to the fracture clinic a few days later confirmed I hadn't. The explanation given was 'bone bruising' which my partner Mike referred to as a fob off.
Two weeks later I was still hobbling albeit on crutches, that I had sent to me from storage at Mike's parents, as A&E didn't have any small enough for me. Umm. In desperation I double the dose of anti-inflammatories and it's like a miracle cure. I keep pumping myself with them and find I can walk again which does seem to knock the 'bruised bone' theory on the head.
The morals of the story are:
- Don't let your two year old kick you in the knee [or anywhere]
- If you have a rare disability you pretty much need to suss out your own diagnosis and treatment
In fact the biggest thing I've learnt from this episode is that my mobility might not be great but it's a damn sight better then when I've been kicked in the knee and having to hobble around in excruciating pain on crutches...
I didn't think that much of it until I could't walk. Even 6 days later I still couldn't walk. I went to A&E who were fascinated by the fact I'd had a baby - er hello I've hurt my knee....
They thought I'd cracked the tibia but a visit to the fracture clinic a few days later confirmed I hadn't. The explanation given was 'bone bruising' which my partner Mike referred to as a fob off.
Two weeks later I was still hobbling albeit on crutches, that I had sent to me from storage at Mike's parents, as A&E didn't have any small enough for me. Umm. In desperation I double the dose of anti-inflammatories and it's like a miracle cure. I keep pumping myself with them and find I can walk again which does seem to knock the 'bruised bone' theory on the head.
The morals of the story are:
- Don't let your two year old kick you in the knee [or anywhere]
- If you have a rare disability you pretty much need to suss out your own diagnosis and treatment
In fact the biggest thing I've learnt from this episode is that my mobility might not be great but it's a damn sight better then when I've been kicked in the knee and having to hobble around in excruciating pain on crutches...
Monday, February 16, 2009
CBeebies disabled presenter
Of course she might not describe herself as a disabled person... but I caught a glimpse of a very animated new CBeebies presenter today and all of a sudden noticed she was an arm amputee. Of course Ben, my 2 year old didn't notice, although interestingly he did remember her name when he saw her again later in the day.
When I googled to find out more about her it was interesting. Some posts were from parents not knowing how to answer their offsprings questions eg how does she cut up her food, get dressed, what happened to her etc.
Others were from people saying how great it was just to have a disabled person presenting, getting youngsters used to the idea of disability in a very casual way.
The rest were from people saying how attractive they found her because she was an amputee... devotees. See previous post.
Disabled presenters are not new to BBC Children's TV - Ade Adepitan being the best known example but they are rare/non existant for no valid reason on adult programmes. The big question is when are we going to see equivalent presenters on adult programmes because it's actually adults that are more prejudiced and ignorant about disability, children just accept it.
When I googled to find out more about her it was interesting. Some posts were from parents not knowing how to answer their offsprings questions eg how does she cut up her food, get dressed, what happened to her etc.
Others were from people saying how great it was just to have a disabled person presenting, getting youngsters used to the idea of disability in a very casual way.
The rest were from people saying how attractive they found her because she was an amputee... devotees. See previous post.
Disabled presenters are not new to BBC Children's TV - Ade Adepitan being the best known example but they are rare/non existant for no valid reason on adult programmes. The big question is when are we going to see equivalent presenters on adult programmes because it's actually adults that are more prejudiced and ignorant about disability, children just accept it.
Monday, February 9, 2009
The perils of being disabled on Facebook
Like many others I eventually succumbed to the lure of Facebook and have steadily built up my list of friends - some are great friends of old, others I have met more recently, mainly through work.
The danger I've found of being open about your disability on facebook is that you can attract 'devotees'.
For those of you not in the know 'devotees' are apparently aroused by disabled people not because of their vivacious personalities, sharp wit, intelligence or flirtatious nature, but purely because of their disability.
Perhaps devotees think they are doing us a favour because they think no one else will go for us. My personal experience is that there are plenty of very 'normal' people who do want to go out with disabled people because of their positive qualities, rather than just because they have a disability.
There's far more to me than my disability so when a 'devotee' picks me out and asks me to be their friend it is really not flattering in the slightest. Ironically in my younger, less experienced and at times more deparate days I might have been flattered.
Nowadays it just seems perversed that someone should pick me out when they don't even know me and for some reason has the audacity to think I might be so desparate as to sign up to be their friend. Who's the saddo, not me.
The danger I've found of being open about your disability on facebook is that you can attract 'devotees'.
For those of you not in the know 'devotees' are apparently aroused by disabled people not because of their vivacious personalities, sharp wit, intelligence or flirtatious nature, but purely because of their disability.
Perhaps devotees think they are doing us a favour because they think no one else will go for us. My personal experience is that there are plenty of very 'normal' people who do want to go out with disabled people because of their positive qualities, rather than just because they have a disability.
There's far more to me than my disability so when a 'devotee' picks me out and asks me to be their friend it is really not flattering in the slightest. Ironically in my younger, less experienced and at times more deparate days I might have been flattered.
Nowadays it just seems perversed that someone should pick me out when they don't even know me and for some reason has the audacity to think I might be so desparate as to sign up to be their friend. Who's the saddo, not me.
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